It all began with a cappuccino and a cookie. Not just any cookie; a flaky butter cookie with just the right amount of bite to crumble and with a flavor that suggested sugar without the insulin shock delivered by most … Continue reading A Taste of Cuba – Test Kitchen
I lined up my dogs and explained about the new model of caregiving that would henceforth exist in our house. “All relationships from now on are transactional.” I explained “not relational. It’s sort of a new version of ‘sing for … Continue reading Charity begins at home
I am an Ashkenazi Jew. Ashkenazi Jews are often anxious. We can also be high-strung, irritable, obsessive, depressive, creative and brilliant – think Woody Allen. It can be irresponsible to typecast a group of people. But being Jewish gives me inside information. We … Continue reading ADMD – Ashkenazi Diaspora Mood Disorder
Today, my son would have turned 20. I am something of an expert on yearning. It could be said I have mastered the topic. My yearning isn’t limited to wanting my son alive. My yearnings run the gamut from craving new babies, new dogs, new careers, new homes, new clothes, new jewelry, new bags, and even new parents. It is a miracle and a testament to my marriage and therapist that the only thing I have never craved is a new husband or a new therapist. To be fair, sometimes I do crave a break from both of them. … Continue reading Unrequited Yearning – Hidden Within
Every now and then I can’t resist a bit of somatizing. It usually occurs when I fall into a pattern of catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is when I start to get afraid that something normal is way worse than it really is. This is my time of year for catastrophizing. Somatizing always takes my mind off of it. The trick is to keep it under control and not let it get out of hand and become something real to worry about. It’s also contagious. If I start somatizing, next thing I know my household is complaining about something. Pretty soon, the vet has … Continue reading SOMATIZING, CATASTROPHIZING, AND REALLY TAKING CARE OF MYSELF
I scheduled cosmetic eye surgery for next Wednesday, a week before the anniversary of my son’s birth and a month before the anniversary of his death. This is always a bad time of year for me so I might as well lie in bed recuperating from elective surgery, since lying in bed is exactly where I will want to be. The amazing thing is that the scheduling is a coincidence, or at least unconsciously a coincidence. I have booked and cancelled this surgery repeatedly but this time I am going through with it. “Is it okay to have the surgery this time of … Continue reading Closure is a myth – life isn’t linear and grief revisits
Summer is a dilemma for One Percent New Yorkers. Where a person summers is something of a litmus test. Growing up, my family summered in Nantucket. Problem is, Jews just didn’t do that. My Jewish mother refused to follow a trend, any … Continue reading Where to Summer in the Summer?
DECALS, DETAILS AND SAYING GOODBYE Continue reading Moving our Daughter into College
Several years ago, my second cousin called me to chat while I was taking a walk. The conversation veered, or was steered by her, to the subject of her stepmother and the fight over her Dad’s inheritance. They had been married multiple decades and beneath surface civility, my cousins never liked their stepmother or her family. “You and Steven need a blow job clause in your will,” she said. As a non-practicing attorney, I was immediately interested. “What’s a blow job clause?” “It’s a clause in the will to protect your kids. If you die,” she said, “the first … Continue reading The Blow Job Clause – Every Woman needs it in her Last Will and Testament
I got my fourth dog last week. This one was an accident, an “oops” as I call her. It all began when my brother and sister-in-law fell in love with her last Mother’s Day. How much is that doggie in the … Continue reading One Percent Dog Owner
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